death

this time of year is for family, love, renewing, forgiving, for being grateful and for making memories. Hopefully there will be little blood shed, our voices will not carry too many mean words, and there should always be lots and lots of laughter and homes filled to the brim with family, friends and lots of food:)!

last night Brandon and i watched the movie "the family stone". wow.... last night it got to me. if you have not seen it i am going to ruin it for you. so there is this family who loves each other terribly but who are meaner than dirt to the new girlfriend. I'm sure all of us have been the receiver of that sort of moment of awkwardness where you just know they don't like you. hopefully that is not a feeling you feel continually over the years with your family or in-laws and hopefully you will never be the person to make others feel like that when you open your home to them...but i digress...sigh
so as this girl Meredith (the new girlfriend) tries to make them like her, she starts to wonder why they don't and why, because she is different from them it makes her wrong or not likeable. I can relate to that oh too well for i am very different from Brandon's family.
in the end...the mother has breast cancer and is dying. she is just trying to make memories for her grown children and to make sure that they are all happy and OK once she is gone.and she does not feel like this meredith girl is who will make her son happy!

warning Im getting teary so do not continue...if you dont want to hear me loose it
death......i can relate to that too! this time of year i panic! what if no one remembers me, what if i was'nt a good person, will london always remember my smile, my laugh, the way my hair smells, how i will kiss her a million times and then once more just because? will the family think i wasnt so bad or will they be ready for a new daughter? will brandon have more children, and be ok without me. will christmas, thanksgiving, birthdays still be done with the same silliness and traditions? ....im not sure i would ever treat someone badly or make them feel unwelcome, not consider their feelings or whatnot but check back with me in a couple of years if i am on my death bed...i might be a lot worse than i think:)