Tuesday, October 12, 2010

i literally forgot

If you pray for love, be loving. If you pray for wealth, be generous. If you pray for health, practice health yourself. Your choices are what make you who you are in this world. Make something of it and figure out what you want to be remembered for!

 

I read this on my niece’s Facebook status and literally had one of those “ah ha light bulb going on” kind of moments! i have been pondering life quite a bit the last year, more-so the last few months. Understandably so…considering i went through a divorce. I have had several amazing conversations with my love Chopper, as well as some wonderful girlfriends who are so great at putting things in perspective…even if it is over happy hour:)

it was very fitting reading this quote and then reading megs blog today and seeing her write about this herself…sometimes i swear we should have been twins because we dress alike and have a lot of the same thoughts without ever discussing them. but anywho…..

i try to be a good person in life, i try to be honest and kind, not judgmental, loving and generous. I try to let people know when i am thinking about them, to be a good friend, a good daughter, mother and girlfriend/wife. But as i read and re-read this quote (not sure where it really came from other than my niece) i wonder how much of this i am really doing. I fall, i fall on a regular basis, short of who my father in heaven made. who he wants me to be. i make mistakes, i take steps back after much progress, but i always try to learn from those mistakes and not make them again.

i am very blessed in my life. i have a man who treasures me and i treasure him. for lack of better words…i have had a failed relationship and do not wish to fall down that awful cliff again so i love with my whole heart. i want to give everything i have to build and mend and create better relationships than what i have. to be that mother to play at the park late, play make-believe ten times longer than i had planned and actually enjoy every minute of it! i have a wonderful, tenderhearted, sweetheart of a baby girl London who i will love with my whole heart. i treasure family and frankly have fallen way short over the years with creating a relationship with them the way i want to in my heart. but i can feel that getting better and sooooo as i try to love more…i FEEL more LOVE as well! what a thought huh?

on the subject of wealth…i don't yearn to have gobs of money (although don't get me wrong it could be real nice right about now). but wealth can mean so many things. i wish to have what i need, to provide for my family…to live more of the good life…having friends and family over for barbeques. be able to fly my sister home for thanksgiving. to donate more to back to school programs and so much more. but as i watched my sweet friend kimi have an awful week and sooo wished i could help…i felt helpless until my dear friend  Celina informed kimis husband that she was having dinner delivered so they wouldn't have to think of that one small aspect of that day. that to me is being generous, thoughtful and kind. my friend Celina is always generous…oh how i will be more like that from now on.

my knees have been bloody from all the prayers on health. health for me, health for family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. but do i take care of my body? to i exercise to my full ability? do i eat right…i mean really eat right? on a daily basis? do i take the vitamins and advice from doctors on food or drinks to stay away from? how can i constantly pray for health if i do not do all i can do to be totally healthy? do i take care of my mind healthily? do i nourish my soul with prayer, good books, uplifting people, movies and spiritual things? do i laugh as much as possible? stay away from stress and stress inducing people?  so much of keeping healthy is full body, mind and soul…( which yes sounds totally cheesy but i believe it to be totally true!!)

i literally forgot all these things…i knew them at one point or another in my life. have practiced them time and time again. but every once in a while i need to be reminded…slapped upside the head, been told again…that hey

 

i choose who i am everyday, it is my gift from my savior, that when i fall short i can try again

its funny that as i have paid attention to this this week how different i have felt about people and what has been given to me and how i know i can give so much more….

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