Sunday, August 02, 2009

worlds worst

school starts in a week and i find myself super excited for londy girl! to start something new and to be with other kids:)

oh how i hurt for her sometimes! for being an only child and for having a mom who simply is not the mommy she should be! i am not a play on the ground for hours kind of mom. im not a make believe, watch cartoons for hours kind of mom either! as i read some of your blogs…(lisa especially) i see how moms are supposed to be. like tonight how lisa is talking about how she is reading with her kids in their favorite play spot on the stairs and how she will leave the kids toys where they put them to keep them happy. i admire this because A……i dont make the time to play with lou like she wants me to. and second because i am a freak!!!! about having things put away. i mean we have 4bedrooms and one little girl with so many toys that they are overflowing into every room in the house and i keep insisting they be kept in HER room. grandmas and grandpas just dont seem to understand that we are bursting at the seams and to stop buying her things! i digress….

somedays… ok most days, i just feel as though im falling short in the mommy category (along with a few others we wont get into) so i am so excited for her to go to school and hopefully love it, make friends, learn lots, forgive easily, reach out to others, not be the bully, not be the teachers pet, not be made fun of, laugh til her sides ache. and enjoy the new road she is on that will be her life for the next 18 to 20 years.

and as for me…i hope that while she is gone i will find a way to be that better mom and to make time for playing on the stairs, reading books and just snuggling on the couch!

4 comments:

Lisa said...

I really didn't mean to make you feel bad, I'm sure you are a great mom! Remember that what I put on my blog is only a select portion of my life, and I usually try to put the positive stuff, mostly so I'll remember it more. But if you could see how I'm treating my kids today you'd definitely feel better. Alexis is sick and Tyler is stir crazy (as am I) and I'm mad that I have to stay home and don't get to go to church. Which is really dumb, but unfortunately I'm taking it out on them. You are the mom London is supposed to have, so just do your best to be the mom London needs.

Is she starting kindergarten too? So is Alexis, it is exciting!!

DM said...

I agree with lisa's comment...blogs are only a small portion of people's lives. If you are being the best mom you can be at this time be good with that - Londy knows she is loved and that is what matters the most. I can't believe London is starting kindergarten...it seems like just yesterday that you and I were potty training our kids! Oh how time goes by so fast!

Chad Martell & Teresa said...

first of all...youre freaking awesome! i dont think londy would want any other mom in this world...nor is she jealous of any other kids with amazing moms and she would just be lost without you! second, i give you mad props for even admitting that stuff. there are a ton of moms in this world that try to be the best mom ever, and most of them are!! but there are those very few that cant do it, or express it in the same way and would be ashamed to admit it.
ask my kids, im like you when it comes to them. but when it comes to other peoples kids im like jeckyll and hyde, its crazy!! but its in my nature and i cant change it and like someone earlier said...we are their chosen mom for our kids and all we can do is our best whatever that may be...and guess what??? its o-freakin-k!!! ☺ ♥u!

Mama Apes... said...

I think you are a great mom! Trust me i felt so many of these same feelings over the past year too!
My mom worked full time for so many years in our childhood so thus I fell that is why i'm not so close to her now. At times i felt that she put work before me. It's has had it's hard times for sure! I have had MANY tears shed hoping that I will be a better mom that my kids need!